FEELINGS

Definition of Feeling:
An emotional state or reaction.

Synonyms of Feeling:
Love, care, affection, tenderness, warmth, emotion, sentiment, etc.

These notes are from recovery in AA and/or related 12 step programs. Readers are encouraged to click external links for more detail. We hope you find them helpful.

Love in fellowship.

Today, we are becoming strong enough to  with hurt feelings. It’s okay to feel hurt; it’s okay to cry; it’s okay to heal; it’s okay to move on to the next feeling, when it’s time. Being in recovery means learning to take loving care of ourselves when we are in pain. –Melody Beattie | More…

Today, our main concern is not feeling good but learning to understand and deal with our feelings, no matter what they are. In recovery, we’re liable to feel anything from one day to the next, even from one minute to the next.

No feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principals can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. — CS Lewis | More…

Recovery does not afford alcoholics the ability o disassociate from their feelings but rather the ability to feel and express feelings appropriately and compassionately. –Recovering Spirituality/Ingrid Matthieu Ph.D. | More… (p.59-62)

You don’t have to do anything about your feelings. Understand that. Believe that. They are only feelings. Emotional energy is important. It’s important not to block it, stop it, deny it, or repress it.

It’s important to discharge it. To value it. To value ourselves. But you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to act on every feeling. You don’t need to control every emotion or let your emotions control you.

Doing something is the old way, the way of control. Simply feel whatever you need to feel. Become fully and completely conscious of what you feel. Take responsibility for the way you choose to express your feelings.

Then let your feelings go. Release the emotional energy.You will naturally take the action that’s right for you to take. –Journey To The Heart/Melody Beattie | More…

Sometimes things need to feel worse before they get better. Feelings are one of those things. They will feel intense, for a while. When a feeling comes to the surface, it presents itself boldly.

Feeling the emotion that intensely means it’s finally clearing out of your system. What do you need to do with feelings? Acknowledge them. Feel them. Give each one its due.

They like to be honoured that way. Once you identify and feel them, then they’ll go away.

Consciously and deliberately relinquish your resistance to your emotional world. Practice saying ‘whatever’ in love to your feelings. –More Language Of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

We need to allow enough room for others and ourselves to have and work through our feelings. By facing and working through these feelings we and others grow; some call it “going through the process.”

We need time to work through feelings. We need the space and permission to work through these feelings in the awkward, uncomfortable, sometimes messy way that people work through feelings. This is life. This is growth. This is okay.

We don’t have to take all our feelings, and others’ feelings, so seriously while others or we are in the process of working through them. Let the feelings flow and trust where the flow is taking you. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

Today I will feel. Today I will feel love like a candle on a birthday cake that never goes out – no matter how much you blow on it.

I will feel compassion like a toothache, a dull pain that lets me go about my business but never goes away. I will feel joy and sorrow, pain, and pleasure.

Today I will feel. I will feel like a human being, unique as a snowflake, common as grass. –Today’s Gift | More…

No one likes a martyr.
How do we feel around martyrs?

Guilty, angry, trapped, negative, and anxious to get away. Somehow, many of us have developed the belief that depriving ourselves, not taking care of ourselves, being a victim, and suffering needlessly will get us what we want.

It is our job to notice our abilities, our strengths, and take care of ourselves by developing and acting on them. It is our job to notice our pain and weariness and appropriately take care of ourselves.

It is our job to notice our deprivation, too. Life is hard, but we don’t have to make it more difficult by neglecting ourselves. There is no glory in suffering, only suffering. Our pain will not stop when a rescuer comes, but when we take responsibility for ourselves and stop our own pain. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

Life is full of feelings. We can be happy, sad, mad, scared.
These feelings can come and go quickly. –Keep It Simple | More…

Listen to your feelings. Some things I can do to take it easy the next time I feel down –Today’s Gift | More…

Many of us needed to shut down the emotional part of ourselves to survive certain situations. We shut down the part of us that feels anger, sadness, fear, joy, and love.

But times have changed. It is okay now for us to acknowledge and accept our emotions. Our emotional center is a valuable part of us. It’s connected to our physical well-being, our thinking, and our spirituality.

Our feelings are also connected to that great gift, instinct. They enable us to give and receive love. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

When we were drinking we didn’t have to deal much with feelings. We turned them off. Then, when we let go of the alcohol we started to come back to life. Now—we have feelings again!

And we have to handle them. We are learning to handle our feelings. We’re getting strong enough to deal with them. With the help of our friends in the program, and our Higher Power, we’re ready for life. –Keep It Simple 17/12 | More…

Part of being human is that we have feelings of being lost, which can lead to fear and loneliness. With freedom comes daily uncertainties; nothing is predestined or made to happen. God is in the choice.

Herein lies true greatness. The fact is that we do not have all the answers. We are not sure of the results. The joys are mingled with the pain and sorrows such is the divinity of life. And yet still we choose to live!

Sobriety is accepting the reality of this uncertain life. –Father Leo | More…

Part of working a good program means acknowledging and dealing with our feelings. We strive to accept and deal with our anger so it doesn’t harden into resentments.

We don’t use recovery as an excuse to shut down our emotions. Yes, we are striving for forgiveness, but we still want to feel, listen to, and stay with our feelings until it is time to release them appropriately.

If we’re angry, it’s okay to have that feeling. That’s part of how we get and stay healthy. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie| More…

Letting our feelings be whatever they are is good. We may not like all feelings; sadness or anger may be uncomfortable, but being human means we’ll have many different feelings each day. If we’re quiet with them, they’ll help us grow and understand others better, and then they will suddenly be gone, replaced perhaps by a feeling we like more. –Today’s Gift | More…

We may feel energetic and happy in the morning, then strangely let down and sad in the afternoon. Because we no longer plan our feelings for the day each morning,

We could end up having feelings that are somewhat inconvenient, like feeling tired in the morning and wide-awake at bedtime. In recovery, we’re liable to feel anything from one day to the next.

Today, our main concern is not feeling good but learning to understand and deal with our feelings, no matter what they are.  -Just For Today | More…

Some days just aren’t the way we wish they would be. No one promises us that everything will go our way when we stop using.

We can experience pain, grief, sadness, anger, frustration and other feelings, we once avoided with drugs. We find that we can get through those emotions clean.

We won’t die and the world won’t come to an end just because we have uncomfortable feelings. We learn to trust that we can survive what each day brings. –Just For Today | More…

For us, recovery is more than just pleasure. Of course, there’s always the possibility we could feel good, but that isn’t the point. Today, our main concern is not feeling good but learning to understand and deal with our feelings, no matter what they are. We do this by working the steps and sharing our feelings with others. –Just For Today | More…