CONTROL

Definition of Control:
The power to influence or direct the course of events.

Synonyms of Control:
Sway, authority, command, domination, mastery, rule, reign, predominance, etc

These notes are from recovery in AA and related 12 step programs.
Readers are encouraged to click the external link for more detail.
We hope you find them helpful.

Love in fellowship.

Only you can control your future. -Dr. Seuss | More…

Today I must be aware of my disease.
I cannot afford to believe that I have gained control of my drinking

Or again, I will think I have gained control of my life.
Such a feeling of control is fatal to my recovery. –Daily Reflections | More…

Learn how to effectively deal with manipulators. Not everyone means what they say.  Learn to not react, stay clear, practice non-resistance, and stay true to yourself.

You are not responsible for the other person’s attempts at manipulation.
You’re responsible for staying clear. –More Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

Many of us have been trying to keep the whole world in orbit with sheer and forceful application of mental energy. What happens if we let go, if we stop trying to keep the world orbiting and just let it whirl?

Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we’ve been trying to exert. In recovery we trade a life that we have tried to control, and we receive in return something better – a life that is manageable. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie 05/05 | More…

If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet. When we surrender our need to be in control, we are more open and welcoming of the good things that come our way. –Touchstones | More…

We all perform a balancing act. During our years of active consumption we were impulsive, living in an all-or-nothing, black-and-white world, completely out of balance.

Minor slights became major issues. We were subject to any whim our distorted thoughts cooked up.

We’ve had lots of practice being out of balance, so we have to work harder to regain it, but now we have the tools to change. Our program gives us a new focus, reminds us of what’s important in our lives.

We’re reminded, too, of our powerlessness over people, places, and things. These ideas are new to us at first. We thought we had to control everything and everyone around us, and so we failed.

But now we’re learning how to keep our balance, and recover it when we’ve lost it. With practice, we’ll get better every day. Now, we’re learning how to let go and let God. –Body, Mind, and Spirit | More…

Life is change… Growth is optional… Choose wisely…
When a man clings too tightly to the status quo or tries to control the direction of change, he is bound to be disappointed.

Part of the pleasure is in not being able to control or predict every circumstance we will meet. We don’t control life’s opportunities.

We can control how we choose to respond to these transitions. Whatever happens can be used for growth and we can commit ourselves to use all experiences that way. –Touchstones | More…

Power aplenty we have, but we must exercise it in order to understand its breadth. We are not powerless, over our own attitudes, our own behavior, our own self-image, our own determination, our own commitment to life and this simple program.

We’ll find all the day’s activities, interactions, plans decidedly more exciting when we exercise control over our responses. We don’t have to feel or respond except in the way that pleases us.

We have total control, and we’ll find this realization exhilarating. –Each Day A New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

To bring our addictions under control, we had to surrender them – and our willpower – to a higher authority. When we think we have everything under control, we are in trouble. –In God’s Care/Karen Casey | More…

The problem with all mood-altering drugs, alcohol included, is that they provide temporary highs while bringing on long-term destruction and enslavement. We can seek a new frame of mind in sober living that will give us better moods without destroying us.

This is “the peace that passes all understanding,” and it comes only from living the right way and listening to our Higher Power. This is the only mood control that really works. –Walk In Dry Places/Mel B.| More…

Everything on Earth has a purpose and is designed special. No two things are created identical. Sometimes in our minds we have a picture of how things should be, And often what we see is different from what they really are.

When this happens we often want to control how things are, making them act or behave according to our picture. We need to leave things alone. God is running all things.

How do we do this? In our minds, we tell ourselves to love all things and respect all things just as they are. Accept what we cannot change. –Elders | More…

Our Higher Power is in charge. It’s such a relief to give up our obsession to control, once we learn how. We practice turning people and circumstances over to God.

Our first reaction will be the familiar one, always. For so long we thought we had to be in charge. It’s no wonder we felt crazy at times.

We were trying to assure other people did the right thing, based on our perspective.
Usually God, or they, had something else in mind. –A Life of My Own/Karen Casey | More…

It took me many years to realize that once I took my first drink, I started losing control of my actions. I didn’t believe that it was possible for me to stay sober forever. I shared this with an old-timer and was told to stop worrying because I only had to stay sober till bedtime! So simple and so real! I am now 80 years old and just celebrated my 37th AA birthday. At my age these three words have taken on a richer meaning. I now plan and live my life Just ‘til Bedtime. I keep a positive attitude and I keep God, my Higher Power, in my heart and in my spirit. I can handle life Just ‘til Bedtime! –Wisdom Of The Rooms | More…